Being a mother of a child with Down Syndrome has made me a better person in many ways! Really, just being a mom in general has contributed to these qualities, but spending time with Connor has really sped up my learning curve. Here are just a few examples.
1. Independence - While I am no way alone in this adventure, I have become much more independent since having Connor. I would have never imagined myself driving into Boston with just Connor, but do that several times a month to visit with various specialists. I now have no problem driving to different hospitals, sitting through countless tests with Connor, and then listening as the doctor shares the news. It is not always bad news, but many times it is hard to hear and I am now able to listen to that on my own and then pass that information along to the rest of my family.
2. Medical Intelligence - I have learned a lot of new medical vocabulary since my pregnancy with Connor and I will never forget anything that I have learned. If you ask me now about specific subjects that I learned in college, I know there is a lot that I do not remember. But if you ask me something about Complete Atrioventricular Canal Defect or Thrombocytopenia (just to name a few) I will always be able to give you specific details. I am constantly learning about new medical topics and amazed at how much information I am able to remember. This is not just wth Connor. If someone asks me about food allergies, I have all kinds of information stored in my brain =).
3. Multi-tasking and scheduling - I have always been an excellent multi-tasker, but becoming a mom has made me even better at it! I am amazed at how much I can fit in and accomplish in a week. I know that everyone is very busy, but until you become a parent you can't imagine what it is like to accomodate for a whole family's schedule. We both work full time (though I am lucky to be able to work from home part of that time which allows the hours to be flexible and not always during a weekday) usually have at least one doctor's appointment each week, two to three therapy sessions, soccer, dance, gymnastics, Kindermusik, and playgroups on the weekends. I am also able to fit in a daily 5 mile run, resistance training and occasionally make it to the gym!
4. Acceptance - Connor has taught me to accept all people for who they are. I have to admit that I have been quick to judge others in the past, as I am sure many people do. Not anymore. I have learned to never judge other people because you never know what is happening in their lives or what they are going through at a particular moment. Every person is perfect in his or her own way and I will always be grateful for what Connor has taught me about individualism.
5. Advocacy - I learned very early on that I have to be Connor's biggest advocate. I didn't even know what that meant before becomming a mother. I have to fight for what my kids deserve. I have always been shy and may not have even stood up for myself in some situations, but that just isn't an option when it comes to my kids. I have to question doctors and therapists and make sure Connor is getting the absolute best care possible.
6. Strength - I have learned that I have to be strong for myself and for my family, both emotionally and physically. On the emotional level, I have to stay strong no matter how bad things get. If we get a new medical diagnosis I know that it is ok to be sad and to worry, but I also know that I have to stay strong. On the physical level, I have to stay strong to carry Connor around! Boy is he getting heavy. We went to the doctor at Tufts Medical Center this week and Connor weighed 24 pounds! I once again had to park on the 7th level of the parking garage and then carry Connor in 1 arm and the stroller in the other down 5 flights of stairs to get into the building because as anyone who has ever been there knows that you will never make an appointment on time if you wait for that elevator! After the appointment it is back up the stairs in the same fashion because we have to rush home to get to the next appointment or activity.
These are just a few of the examples of how becomming a mother has helped me to become a better person! I love my kids with all of my heart and know that even though it is my job to teach them they ways of the world, it is really a journey that we are going on together. Everytime they learn something new, so do I. Together, I know that we can accomplish anything as long as we do it as a family.
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